Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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