You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
