So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Two words: nipple clamps
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