If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
