these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
