I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
