are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
