They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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