You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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