I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
