the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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