i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
