I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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