TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
