East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
