We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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