I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
