So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
