He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
