i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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