Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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