Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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