office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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