Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
only you would photoshop your dick
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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