Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
