Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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