I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize