There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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