I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
