I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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