does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
