Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
