No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
