Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
