i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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