I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
