I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
