She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
