Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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