Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
