I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
