That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
