i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he puts the penis in happiness.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
