Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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