with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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