I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
