i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
