I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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