Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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