He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
