We're facebook friends in real life
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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