Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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