Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
